credit: The Greek Savagery
There are some accounts on Instagram that are no-holds-barred. They offer in-your-face advice, commentary, and thoughts in the form of posts and memes on everything from sexual encounters and selfies to exes and texting. While some of it may seem harsh or offensive at first glance, let’s be serious, a lot of it involves things many out there probably wanted to say to someone and just never did. For example:
You ladies be gettin paranoid over absolute nonsense. You'll be in cry baby back bitch mode because the guy you like hasn't texted you "in a while." Meanwhile it's 9am on a Sunday and the last text he sent you was at 2am….on fucking Sunday. Bitch, maybe he's asleep? Maybe he woke up and went to church with his grandmother? Yes there is always a possibility that in that 7 hour span he decided to say "this bitch is fuckin nuts" and deleted your number, but there's also a possibility that he's one of the Americans that defected to ISIS and is now planning to blow some shit up. I had a break up with a girl because of numbers 1 and 4. This bitch would nonstop text me at work and I would tell her I'm working and I'll text back later when I had time. Every 10 fucking minutes she'd be like "do you have time yet? It's been a while there's no way you're that busy." Meanwhile I was working at a sports bar during the fucking NFL Playoffs. Yes I was fucking busy AND it's only been 10 minutes anyway you crazy psychopathic paranoid crying little bitch. I guess you can put number 3 in there because once I got off work I sat down, had a few beers, and watched some football. Yea, there are some guys who will stop talking to you because you didn't send nudes, but those guys are dirt bags and don't deserve a woman's attention anyway. Ladies all I'm saying is calm the fuck down. If it's been 3 or 4 days then yea maybe it's a big deal, but even then, just move the fuck on. Yall trippin. You can't find a good guy because you always strung up on the same one that ain't shit. Smdh. Get it together. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #fuckouttahere #stfu #stopbullshittin #smdh #getittogether #calmdown #lmao #hilarious #dead #humor #comedy
Then, of course, there are also the posts that people get upset about and offended over. No one is going to like everything they see on the Internet; that’s just the way it is.
One no-holds-barred account is @The_Greek_Savagery on Instagram. This is one of those bad-ass accounts that’s not for the faint of heart or those who get offended easily.
For real though, I might as well put my phone on the pill. This shit is hilarious. I thrive on people commenting on my posts about how I'm not funny or how I'm rude or an asshole. Bitch I don't give a fuck. Then when they have no other argument they say "you must care if you're responding." Fuck outta here with your cliche ass. My momma raised me to answer someone who was speaking directly to me. My father added the part "and if they say something you don't like, tell them to fuck all the way off." Man I love my parents. Everyone has haters. If I changed my ways because of someone hating on my page then I might as well kill myself because that means I let a worthless fuck that I've never met before own me. That'll never happen. The savagery is real people and it's not going anywhere. If you don't like it stay away because I do not and will not ever give a flying fuck. If you get offended I'm sorry that your parents raised a sensitive little shit bag. I know some people don't find me funny. Some people don't find Kevin Hart funny. They have a name for those people. Fucking weirdos. I notice a lot of people get bent outta shape on my page. Well you're gonna get bent even further if you keep looking. Soon you'll be looking like the Gateway Arch in St Louis because I won't change anything about my sense of humor. I'll try to be extra safe when posting though. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. People take me seriously so I should try to abide by them. Those last 3 sentences were complete bullshit by the way. Fuck outta here bruh. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #littlebitches #sosensitive #poorbabys #fuckouttahere #lmao #hilarious #dead #humor #comedy
So who do you have to thank for @The_Greek_Savagery? That would be 23-year-old Mike, who is a mechanical engineer residing in Brooklyn, NY. Regarding the account, he explained, “Most of my memes and captions are referencing relationship issues, sexual experiences, and other small topics in everyday life. My account is about my personal experience with those topics. It also has a heavy dose of my own personal opinion.
“The main point is to make people laugh, which I believe I do a fantastic job at. I also offend a few people, but who doesn’t offend people nowadays? I don’t concern myself with what people think about my page because I tend to get more positive feedback than I do negative feedback, so I will just continue doing what I am doing and see where it goes.”
Mike is clearly doing something right considering his account hasn’t been up and running for very long, yet he already has over 84,000 followers. “I started my account a few months ago. Around late August. I did not have any expectations for it. I was told that I have a very unique and hilarious perspective on things in life. That and the fact that I have been told that I am a very intelligent and creative writer, which is why I decided to add stories into my captions.
“I started this mainly as a way to escape reality. Some of these large accounts actually consider Instagram a career, and that’s perfectly fine. I have a career outside of the Internet that is very stressful. While working, I also go to school par- time, so you can only imagine the amount of stress I go under. Instagram is my way of venting, which is why my captions and memes are incredibly vulgar. The fact that I started making people laugh, and I have been noticed by several big accounts, is just a bonus for me.”
By the way, in case you’re wondering how he came up with his username and what the meaning is behind it, Mike stated, “It is quite simple, honestly. Most of my followers have labeled me a ‘savage’ based on what I write in my captions. That and the fact that I am Greek made it quite simple for me to come up with a unique and original name.”
Regarding his first post and what made him choose that material, Mike explained, “I actually did not choose this material, I made it myself using a meme-generating app on my phone. I decided to make it because it’s a topic that is not really that important in the real world, but it’s a situation in which young adults find themselves.
“Too many times I have heard stories of someone getting very intoxicated and ended up sleeping with someone that they may have not even looked at twice if they were sober. I find it hilarious when people tell me about their reactions the next morning when they are sober and see who they slept with. I thought this face in the picture fit it perfectly, which is why I made it.” This would be the post, by the way:
And what’s his process for putting together a post? “Honestly, it’s not a long process at all. When I see a meme that I like and think I can relate to and make a good caption, I just post it. My captions are pretty long, but when I start writing them, it’s like freestyle. It takes 10 to 15 minutes to finish a post.” You gotta love when the words just flow out of you and you have artistry at the end of it all.
When you’re going through an Instagram account, it’s not always easy to pinpoint what the most popular post is unless you’re cheating by looking at the number of likes and comments. When it comes to @The_Greek_Savagery, it’s hard to pick just one, so obviously I had to ask Mike which of his posts was the most viral and why he thinks it was so popular.
“This is another one that I created myself,” he replied. “I am not exactly sure how many times it has circulated social media, but I do know why it is so popular. This meme references the Slut Whisperer, which I am sure many people know about. He liked the post when I put it up on Instagram, so that led many people to my page to specifically view that one post. I posted this at a time when I only had about 8,000 followers, but still managed to get 2,000 likes, which is a ridiculous ratio.”
This would be the post he’s talking about:
Smdh. Why you hoes lyin about being hoes though? We know these things breh. Whether it'd be from @slutwhisperer website or just from personal experience alone. Oh wait you not a hoe? You just enjoy gettin butt naked on camera and having champagne poured on ya titties, ass and coochie? Oh ok, my bad. Fuck outta here with that bullshit. If I get drunk from eatin you out you more than likely a filthy hoe. There's nothin wrong with that though, these hoe they for everybody. Don't be ashamed of having a bigger collection of dicks than Steve Carrell had toys in 40 Year Old Virgin. There's nothing wrong with having a pussy wide enough to fit a New York City Subway station. Shit that means everyone can get a ride. Just be honest, you're a cum dumpster. I like my hoes proud to be hoes. If your titties are on the Internet that's awesome, I don't have to slide into your DMs asking for nudes. Just don't lie about it because whether it's @slutwhisperer or my man Maury, we gonna find out bitch. Enjoy your weekend, sluts! #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #dumbfucks #weknow #itsokay #stopbullshittin #thesehoes #theyforeverybody #fuckyouthoughtthiswas #lmao
And as far as what his favorite memes are that he’s posted? Check them out:
Shiiiit that ain't none of my business. She was a triflin ass hoe anyway. Besides, who am I to get involved with this man's pussy game? Fuck it I had side hoes too. That's some unmanly shit to rat this man out. Get your pussy game up my man. That bitch crazy anyway so she deserves it. And she probably running through the 6 dicks in her DMs anyway. Fuck outta here. None of my business I'm just gonna keep to myself and my own hoes. Shiiiit I actually would gain respect for this dude. Might spark him up on a fat blunt. I know all about that hoe so I know that he got a reason for these actions. When she give head its like she's rubbing your cock with sand paper, and her pussy looks like a Pokemon and smells like crab legs. Smdh. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #notmyfault #notmyproblem #idgaf #bitchesbecrazy #nastyass #zerochill #lmao #fuckouttahere #thesehoes #theyforeverybody
Could it be? Is this at all possible? Yes it is because I've witnessed this greatness. I speak on the club hoes daily. I talk about how some expect to remain in contact after the nasty took place, stupid bitches. I talk about how some don't know when to leave the next morning as if they just moved in. However, this is my first time speaking on this. I love a bitch that knows when to get to steppin. Whenever I wake up and she already gone it makes my day so simple. Instead of having to call the National Guard to get this bitch out, I get to go on about my business. I never expected this though. It was last year. I was at the club for my boy's birthday gettin wild as usual. I consumed enough alcohol to fuck a donkey but thank god it didn't come to that. Got this fine little bitch to come home with me. Right before she throated me she said "you know this is a one time thing." I started weeping and she was like ummm should I leave? I said bitch these are happy tears because I thought I'd have to break you off softly in the morning, now shut up and get these nuts. We went wild all night like we were jack rabbits on ecstasy. I woke up in the morning to the smell of eggs and bacon. I was frightened at first thinkin "ohhhhhh great this bitch all up in my kitchen figuring out where the dishes and shit are at, I'm fucked." To my surprise this how threw down like Rachel Ray in the kitchen then dipped out like a dude that forgot to pull out. She left a note that said "thank you for a great night, I'm gonna miss that dick of yours. Here's some breakfast to say thanks for making me cum unlike the last 5 guys that tried." First I said damnnnnnnnn what a hoe. Then I said oh shit she didn't leave her number, thank Jesus. Then I ate the food, it tasted like she made it in the toilet, but it's the thought that counts right? #nochill #savage #thankyoujesus #breakfast #thatbitchknew #iloveit #lmao #hilarious #dead #humor #comedy
Some of these hoes are either really bad at lying, flat out retarded, or just don't give a fuck. I feel bad for you thirsty ass mfs that have been in this situation. Hoping to possibly Netflix and chill but she "not feeling too good tonight" or she "has to babysit her little brother." Turns out that hoe is getting champagne poured down her ass and titties at @slutwhisperer party. You sitting there watching all sad and shit, probably beatin your meat as you watch, smdh. Fucked up thing about it is I'm probably on her snap story too. That's right, I'm most likely fuckin your bitch tonight. I'm a spiteful ass mf, so I'd retaliate hardcore if a bitch did this to me. She gonna be wondering why her best friend or her sister be walkin with a severe limp. I'll be the one to tell her "sorry bitch, I had to fuck her spinal chord outta place, coulda been you, but you trippin." I'll give every woman in her life the good dick until she regrets fuckin wit my emotions. Then when she come crawling back….fuck it, ima give her the good dick too just cuz. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #dumbbitch #lmao #bitchesbelying #thesehoes #theyforeverybody
Winner winner chicken mother fuckin dinner. This glorious day will make any guy smile bigger than Jared at a play ground. There's not a woman alive that agrees to Netflix and chill without being aware that their village is about to be invaded by some Trojans (unless she let's you hit it raw). Boys, you and your dick better bring that A game, or you might be summoned back to the dungeon that is known as the friend zone. Being in the situation would put a man under a lot of pressure. It's like an audition for a movie role or a tryout for a spot on the team. If you fuck up, your future in the industry may look bleak. Me personally, I perform well under pressure, so bet money I'm bout to make the bitch sweat like she's running a marathon and scream like she was one of those retarded white girls in a horror movie. I will not be sent back to the dungeon. #nochill #savage #netflixandchill #invadethevillage #friendzone #nomore #lmao
Mike explained, “As you can see, that is a very tough decision. These are just some of my favorites. I don’t think I can actually pick just one. If I could, I would put a few more up there. These are some of my favorites because I have very distinct personal memories involving these topics that ended up making for hilarious stories that my followers could relate to.”
With so many great Instagram accounts out there, I also wanted to find out from Mike what Instagram meme creators in his area of interest he admires. He stated, “There are actually not many creators that I admire. I follow a lot of accounts that just repost memes that someone else created, and I never really know who created it in the first place. I tend to repost a lot of memes simply because my account is not about the meme, it’s about the caption, which is always 100% written by me.”
He added: “@genuineguy is one of my personal favorite accounts. @thatgirlsayswhat2 and @tinderonians are two accounts that I not only love the material, but I love the people that run those accounts. I have become friends with some of the accounts that recognized me when I first started and we have basically been a part of our own little Instagram group. I love these accounts because they share the same sense of humor as I do.”
Before you head over to check out @The_Greek_Savagery, take a look at some of the posts that you’ll find over on the account. And by the way, take the time to read the captions; they’re worth the read.
Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder said to never go full retard. Whoever momma said this shit didn't listen. This is one of the most retarded things I've ever heard. Shiiiit the more safe and secure a dude makes you feel the more likely it is he got some hoes on the side. The sweeter and more caring a dude is means that he might just be trying very hard to prevent you from even thinking about the possibility that he's got hoes on the low. You should be very suspicious of he bringing you flowers and writing you love notes on a regular basis. Shiiiit I used to write some love notes, but that's because I wanted the bitch to not think that there were 3 different bitches slobbing on the knob. Honestly, you might even be that hoe on the side. If he don't yell or call you a bitch from time to time that shit ain't real. Fuck outta here. If it seem like some corny ass Cinderella fuck ass fairy tale that means it probably is. He might seem like prince charming but he probably more like A Pimp Named Slickback (shoutout to Katt Williams). This person's mother probably got 3 different baby daddy's because that bitch don't know wtf she talkin bout. Take it from a guy ladies, if it seems too good to be true then wake the fuck up because it probably is. Don't let the dick hypnotize you. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #whosaidthis #shouldbeslapped #threetimes #dumbbitch #idgaf #takemyadvice #fuckouttahere #lmao #hilarious #dead #humor #comedy
I sometimes wonder what my dogs are thinking about. People don't understand my dogs. My oldest dog is a lot smarter than most people I've met. My youngest guy is smart, but he just don't give a fuck to show it. Somebody will come by and pet the dogs and say some shit like "wow you smell like dog." My dogs will look at them like "fuck was you expecting you stupid mf?" My dogs have witnessed some serious fuckery since I've had them. They lived with me in Indianapolis while I was there, so they been around. Stupid bitches be coming in my apartment where I live by myself and say "oh are these your dogs?" Me and the dogs would look at each other and then look back at her and just put our heads down in shame. Obviously bitch. 3 years ago for Christmas, before I got my youngest pup, my ex at the time tried to put little Christmas booties on my dog's feet. He knew damn well that they made him look like a little retarded bitch dog so when we were asleep he bit them off and hid them under the couch. My guy is a genius and he gives no fucks about your feelings. If they could both talk, they would disrespect the shit outta anyway that they see fit. They can spot an idiot just as fast as I can. That's why I fucks with my dogs. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #fuckouttahere #smartdogs #stupidpeople #smdh #lmao #hilarious #dead #humor #comedy
I hate when people have private profiles. I don't care who you are, nothing on your page is important enough for you to go private. Especially if you a hoe, you be showing yo ass and titties to random dudes at the bar but you private on instagram so people can't see your bullshit ass selfies and pictures of your Starbucks Coffee? Smdh. Fuck outta here. Some bitches be in my comments too talkin like they all that. I'm like aight bet, I guarantee you ugly as a mf. I go to their page and their private so I have yo focus extra hard on their profile picture. If a bitch is really that bad she shouldn't be private, she should let the world know how bad she is. No one gives a fuck about you enough to request to follow you. I really don't like requesting to follow anyone. That makes it sound like I think you're someone, but in reality, I probably think you ain't shit. If I call a bitch ugly and she says she's cute, I'll go look. If it's private and I can't tell from the profile picture, I'll automatically assume she's ass. I don't care if she looks like Beyonce. I don't care if she is fine. I just like pissing people off because I'm a petty son of a bitch. So fuck you and your private account. I'm too high most of the time to be focusing on that small ass circle in the top corner. Fuck all that nonsense bitch. I'll be damned if I'm gonna request you, because if I don't know you, you ain't mf shit bitch. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #fuckouttahere #fuckyourprivacy #smdh #youaintshit #mustbeugly #lmao #hilarious #dead #humor #comedy
I'm convinced that every single person in the world wants to get the last word in an argument. Even if you lose the argument, most people don't like dealing with that so they want to get that last little "oh yea? Well fuck you!" Sometimes it's just wise to shut the fuck up. If you're wrong, shut the fuck up. If you're arguing with a big dude with a short fuse, shut the fuck up. I don't care if he's yelling at you because he thinks evergreen trees are blue and you're trying to convince him otherwise. Bruh, in this case, fuck it, they're blue. You might just be 3 words away from a concussion and a snapped spine. You might be a half a sentence away from your head being nice and snug inside your rectum. You never know how fuckin crazy a mf can get if you keep trying to talk. I'm one of those dudes that'll go absolutely ape shit. If I'm wrong, I'll let you get the last word. If I'm right, the argument will go all night until you just stop speaking. I swear if I say shut the fuck up, I don't even want you to say ok. Just shut the fuck up. I was arguing with some kid in school once about who was the reason we got caught smokin a blunt right outside the school. This mf clearly stated that he was gonna stand by the door way and if someone was coming the code phrase was "bro let's go to the cafeteria." This mf watched the security guard walk up to the door and come out and catch us, didn't say a fucking word. He knew I was right but he wouldn't shut up. He was like "bro shut the fuck up." I told him he was retarded and we were suspended because of him and he said "bro I know but I don't give a fuck." This led to me dumping his book bag into the garbage and I said I don't give a fuck about his shit. I walked away and I heard him say "bro he's such a dick" so I turned around, took his pizza and ate it and threw the rest of his lunch on the floor. "Anything else you want to say?" "Bro why you gotta…." I instantly threw the pizza crust at his face. Just shut the fuck up already. Some mfs will never learn. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #fuckouttahere #dumbfuck #stfu #stopbullshittin #lmao #hilarious #dead #humor #comedy
This is exactly why I'd never fuck a prostitute. You never know who is out here hoeing it up to pay some bills. This is also why I would never in my life want a daughter. If I had a baby girl I'd turn my basement into a dungeon and keep her down there. When I take her out she'll have a shock collar on so I can zap that little bitch if she gets too feisty with the fellas. Why? Because she'll have some of my genes in her which makes her untrustworthy to say the least. That's why. As for the prostitution part, what I'm about to say is a very true story, and I don't care if anyone believes me. A friend of a friend of mine was getting married and I was invited to the bachelor party. I had no hand in planning it so I take no blame, I was just there to hopefully get my dick licked by one of the strippers. Anyway, the best man ordered what he called an A+ prostitute. In comes a girl with a mask on and they lead her and the soon to be groom. They shut the door. All you heard next was a loud scream. The guy comes busting out and attacks his best man. "You think this is funny you fucking piece of shit." The fight is broken up, then the hooker comes out the room. I had no idea who the fuck she was so my dumb ass whispered "who in the fuck is this hoe?" My friend whispered back "that is, or was, the bride to be." Jaw dropped straight to the ground. "So you're telling me that the prostitute for the mfs bachelor party was his fiance? Bruh this the greatest bachelor party I've ever been to." Let's just say after that it was just a regular party because the wedding was off. Smdh. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #donttrustthesehoes #smdh #fuckouttahere #lmao #hilarious #dead #humor #comedy
These instagram hoes out here are disgraceful. Showing ya ass and titties just to gain likes and followers is ridiculous. I mean, it's like going to work. I think it's ridiculous, but ima still go. Just like I think it's ridiculous to show your body on instagram, but ima still look. Some girls actually think that getting 50-100 likes on a picture that damn exposes your entire ass is a big deal. It's not. I bet 85 of those likes are from a fat dude named Carl who's got crumbs from a twinkie sitting on his shirt as sips on flat mountain dew and beats his salami meat to your IG. How do you feel about that now? I can't fuck with a hoe that shows her body on IG. How do I know she ain't doing it in real life too? She might have so many STDs that uploading a picture on IG might give your phone or computer a virus. How about my man Jesus? He's a hard working dude that deserves some love. Why can't he get some likes? He out here doing all the nasty jobs that Americans are too damn lazy to do yet no one shows him appreciation. I don't care what your body looks like on IG with all these filters and adjustments you do to make your ass bigger and stomach smaller. I only care what that body looks like on my bed. Fuck outta here. Show Jesus some love yall. He realer than all these IG hoes. #nochill #savage #nofucksgiven #fuckouttahere #fucktheIGhoes #showsomelove #mymanJesus #lmao #hilarious #dead #humor #comedy
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